Wednesday, July 26, 2006

hey there,

Sorry, long time never post. This will be short. I got a history test to study for.

Firstly, I will try something new everyday.

Secondly, I will do 1 good deed everyday.

Thirdly, i shall and will work hard and stop myself from slacking.

Fourthly, I shall try my best to stay awake during boring lessons.

Fifthly, I shall do my prefect duties as much as i can. Since i wanted to be it when i was sec 1, better carry on. If not it will be very irresponsible. School spend sooo much money on this.

kks, so these are the 5 things that i shall do from now on. sigh. seriously. talking to someone you really trust when you are troubled does help. You can juz spill everything without bring worried.

As i get to know more about the things i am involved in- my class, my cca and leadership group , the more moodier, sadder, depressed i become. The things that i found out are not very nice at all. I don want to say or else life will be even more miserable than it already is. How i wish that some etheral goddess or some heavenly angels can either 1) erase all the bad memories i have, 2) ask people to stop raking up the past and move on, 3) Bring me to a place far away, where only me and the people i trust are- no politics. juz bask in the sunlight, learn new things and continue to excel wad you are in.

1 thing i don't understand is this- Why can't you treat people nicely and they will listen. and when you are too nice, They take things for granted. And i juz feel so fed up. Everytime after dismissal duty, my heart juz starts to sink and i feel heavy all over. Haiz, don ask, seriously. If i start to type out my feelings wad will happen?? wait, let me answer that for you. The sec 4s see, bu shuang, 1 pass to 10, 10 pass to 100, 100 pass to the WHOLE sec 4 and they come and find me and get me involved in this WHOLE politics and it will start all over again juz like wad happened when i felt frustrated and fed up wif my senior when i blogged about it in my old blog and it seems to me that a lot of people read my blog(I don't know how true is that..) So if i anyhow blog and pour my feelings out like nobody's buisness, I will die like no body's buisness.

secondly, I heard er hao say that we are gonna play alvama overture, 1 life and pewter overture( I think its like that spell) all these pieces are tough and the more i think about it the more scared i get. I don't know how to teach the section!! BAH!! boohoo!!But anyway, its not confirmed yet. Maybe only. PLease i don wan later pp go trouble him and i get into trouble later=((..

Thirdly, nowadays, i juz dread going home. Having thoughts of my 2nd sister and me quarelling, my mum scolding us and that my sis wants to use my cleaned table and she don want to use hers, i get sick and wanna stay outside. Anyway, i also feel that i should do my homework in school and i shall leave the homework that needs to use computer and studying for tests for home, so that i can do lie on my bed and try to squeeze the facts into my already drained brain. Anyway when i reach home i also feel so tired and dun wanna do my work, myself finish it in school, and if you have trouble with any, i can juz look for teachers for help =).. I still needa find miss ong to teach me linear law and mr tan to help me in my acids and Bases.. BAH!! sigh.. See i also have my good reasons and bad reasons for not going home. BUt in school, when you do your work, you feel that you can go on and don feel like sleeping and moreever, there are nice people who are geniuses around which you can approach to help you. Sigh. GO home, I am already so vexed, So tired so stresed from the day- more hmk given, tests to study for and CCA stuff to handle and trying to recover and reflect from the scoldings that you got for the day, and I still have to deal with my 3 sisters.So you think my life is easy?? My 2nd sis still down there making noise ask me to do this do that. then not happy scream at me, beat me and throw and kick my stuff, HELLO!! DO YOU KNOW HOW PACKED IS MY SCHEDULE?? you so free, Go do stuff yourself!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! You think i so free?? WHy don we try like wad happen to the mother and lindsday lohan in Freaky friday, we go get a fortune cookie from the chinese restaurant and try to go through each others lives, then you will know all the pressure and nags and stress that i gotta go through.. You onli p5, and compared to a triple science sec 3 student, IT IS SOOOO MUCH EASIER TO HANDLE! YOU COME AND TRY LA!! Then you will know how much i have to try to please pp around me, all the tough questions to handle, all the essays we gotta write, all the 100 times we gotta write,all the scoldings we have to get, how izzit like to lead your section, trying to get it error-free, and if you don't do it well, wad happen?? Seniors all come after you.. Your results will be like da bian.. haiz.. Come back home, i juz wanna recuperate and rest, kks, except for that, i still gotta hear my 3 sisters fighting and quarellin wif each other.. AAAAAAAAA!! having 3 sisters and being in a tough stream with a heavy CCA is not wasy at all!! Sigh, i guess i need to manage time.. HELP!! aaa!! My life is seriously not easy, but i do know that there are pp wif more tough schedules than me.. How am i gonna handle?? I wanna get in temasek JC.. but its tough.. wa, like that cannot handle, how to go there..Doncare, muz work hard.. I muz try. MAYBE 1 of the new things i muz learn today, is learn how to let my sister to understand me and how i can understand her.. =).. mUz try, Siblings muz live in unity.

sigh.. I realli realli wish that i can get through this stage of life.

p.s. If there are any comments that are rude or you feel that i got type something that offended you, please leave a note at my tagboard. Don want any more enemies.. NO MORE HATES.. i WANT UNITY AND PEACE..

pps. Sometimes, is seriously wonder why the world is like tat.

gtg,

bb

-JeRm