Monday, October 23, 2006

Weather: sunny, PSI: 60

hi.

sorry lately not blogging. as i had mentioned, pls view me as dead now. I am really dead. dead dead dead. but the good thing is, you will see me be reborned on 1/1/07. yup, and on that day, you will hardly see me blogging, going online, friendstering, etc, cos i found out that, even my mum said so, that i am to addicted to the computer. so ya, i will like come online like maybe once in 3 months? or maybe not at all. but i will, you'd be lucky nxt yr if you can catch me online or be caught blogging. so ya, prepare for this blog to be dead.

sigh, received back results. and my parents are really dissapointed with me, they like now like treating me differently, a bit cold. cos, at the same time, my sis (sharol), she shot up, from 9th to 3rd in class. so like my parents damn happy for her. They said that my results sucked ( k la, they didnt say suck , but the meaning is suck), and said that i dropped a lot. btw, if you really need to know. I got 24th in class this yr, first time in my entire life that my position is more than 20 in class, and 32nd in level. and the average percentage is 66.3%. My parents are not happy. you all think 32nd in level out of 200 over people very good rite? well, my parents dun think so, i think i fared averagely, but they thinked that i slacked a lot this yr. sigh. they now like unhappy la. then like treating me like ab it coldly la. WTF. sigh. nvm, i wonder how all the 2e4 pp are doing?? I hope they are doing better than me. not worse. Today at the foyer, got meeting for SLC, then like colin, hariz and eileen was there. colin said that my english was bad, very. he said got subject verb agreement prob, tenses prob etc during the presentation. ya, i know, i didnt even prepare for the thing la! I played it by ear. so i learned a lesson today: " if you are gonna do a presentation, pls prepare an revise first and make sure everything is fine be4 presenting it." then dunno how talk to results. then they said i scored so high so good. walao. then i think hariz is pissed la. i dunno la, but then hariz is like AAAAAAA forget it i duno wad i saying la. BUT ya, I think i disgraced the whole class during the presentation today. Though some 3e1 pp like marianne and donovan said i did just fine. But i thinked i did horrible. My imagination is running like crazy now, my parents is like disappointed wif me, the presentation and everything. I reallly feel like giving up. Is like now, I am like a boat who is sailing in the sea. and now i have sunk, the boat i've created since sec 1 have sunk. I needa build a new boat, i needa find the north star again, i need a vision, i needa guide. And sail towards it, juz like wad happened in sec 2. that was how i did well. this yr, I cannot find the northern star, so i am doing not good at all. ya, sigh.

nvm, i really wonder where have all my true friends gone. Where is the happiness left in my world? who will i be wif then i'd be happy. sigh, all the thoughts are like running wild in my head now. so many questions left unanswered. I dunno. i am lost. WHO are my true friends. some friends whom i actually thought they were my true friends turned out to be some fair weathered people. so, now, who are really my true friends? WHO? who will be there to support me when i fall. who will be there to encourage me when i don score well? sigh, nvm, i am juz talking crapp. i also dunno wad i doing la. nvm. nvm. really nvm..

-jErM