Sunday, December 24, 2006

Weather: Grey sky, looks like its gonna rain
Event: christmas eve
24th December 2006

Ok, i know i am not supposed to be blogging. But i must really post bout ytd's events, cos its not good to keep negative feelings inside you. ok, this post is dedicated to someone.

I am gonna be sacarstic describing him.
He is "not" cute.
He "loves" people to call him cute.
He is "not" close to me.
He is "not" a potential band leader.
He "hates" naruto.
He "dosent" play the organ and the flute. ]
He "cannot" argue well

SO "indirect" HOR?!anyway, to that someone, i really hope you can read this. Cos you didnt even know how horrible my day is ytd.

The day actually started all right. cos ytd is my cousin's 1 yr old birthday. Such a joyous occation. So, i dunno why, ytd, i got like super addicted to the songs- peterloo overture and songs of sailor and sea. Both of which contains notes running like mad. So first of all, perterloo overture for piccolo part has the highest note that a piccolo could reach-4th octave C. I WAS like trying to pitch it, and i kept on trying and trying. When i finally did it, my mum was like "ugh, stop that!", so high and whatever. OK. this was the first thing that made me mad already, I mean, its an accomplishment, you should be happy! People trying so hard, you go pour cold water. FINE.

The 2nd thing that made me mad: ok, then since my mum says so chao. I switch song, go practice songs of sailor and sea. i juz kept running and running, and i even played with the recording. I was like enjoying myself. Then my dad was like coming to pick us up to go to my cous 1 yr old party. Then I asked what time is dad coming to pick us? they said in bout 10-15 mins. SOO much time, enough for me to practice laa! Then i was like practicing practicing, then suddenly " GO ALREADY LAA!" my mum shreked. WHAT THE ****. ok, stupid. that was totally dumb. First of all, you said that dad was coming in 10-15 mins, it was like only 5 mins, i checked. Then you ask me go?! WAKAO. fine. I keep pic, then headed to metro in Century square to get a present.

The 3rd thing that made me mad: in century square, the 3rd floor of metro, is all toys and stuff for kids, so we went there to get presents for my cous and also for my nephew(jovan)- I always mention about him in my posts, sure you know bout him now?- cos Jovan's bday in october, we didnt have time to get a present for him due to exams. So after buying, we were rushing off, cos no time already. So we took the escalator down to the 2nd floor. After that, there are 2 ways out, 1 is to exit by the 2nd floor exit, another is to take the escalator 1 more floor down and exit by the first floor. My sisters- sharol and natasha, was in front of us, and they like chong chong mang mang walk to take the escalator to the first floor, I was like in the middle, mY parents and dion were like at the back. So Then my parents chose to take the 2nd floor exit, 2 of my sisters were like chionging , my mum was like calling out to them to ask them exit by the 2nd floor exit, I went to the extent of taking that few steps to call them loudly, When i see that they are turning back, I walked out of the store with my parents. then when we were taking the escalator from the 2nd floor of century square to the first floor, we realised that sharol and natasha was not behind us. My mum was like "where are they?where are they?" I was like, "i called them already what!?" Then after that, My mum scolded me,"Kepp following me for what? so big already should go take care of mei mei mah!! follow me follow me. ughh!"
I was like super pissed off laa. I mean, i already saw them turning and walking towards the exit of the store thats why i left with you all right??? FINE LAA! whatever. i was like super pissed. My artilery of bad words juz felt like coming out. BUt i held on to it. I mean seriously, when i reassured myself that my sisters are heading towards the direction we are going, then i go with my parents maa. If not what you expect me to do? GO allll the way to them, pull them by the ear, then go with you all izzit? both my parents are like wasling so fast laa, i mean, if i go all the way to my sisters, and them come back again, you all will like dunno run till where already laa! WTF WTF. mann. I am like sooo freagin angry still.

4th thing that made me angry: I was like in the car, staring out of the window, enjoying the scenery, at the same time, try to brush all the negative feelings away. Then in the car halfway, my dad was knowing that i am angry laa, still ask me stupid questions, then when i replied hastily and rudely, scold me. ASK ME, "HOW COME YOU SO RUDE? ok, since you so insensitive, so whatever whatever(i wasnt really listening) i cancel all your classes!" in my mind i was like "cancel lor, i dont even have any classes for you to cancel. I dont have tuition, i dont have any extra classes, cancel baa, go ahead" that was what i was thinking. but then what really made me mad is that, you already know that people is like super pissed and angry, you go ask them questions sure liddat 1 what. then you still have to go drill in it, and scold me somemore. To that someone, if you are reading till here, i mean if you have a bad day already, and someone still had to go drill in it, you mean you will be happier izzit?! Then dunno why, my dad just loves to scold me all the things i have done "wrong" all at the same time. like last sunday, we went to the fish farm to go collect fish and fang sheng, so it was raining like siao, and we were like under the shade, letting the monks chant and pray for the fish, 1 lady was like asking guys/boys to go and help to move fish onto the boats, my dad and me was being asked for. My dad went ahead, and i stayed. REASON: dion was scared like shit, and then though sharol was there, i stayed to give her reassurance. My dad even said to the lady, " he cannot, too weak." then in the car, he scolded me somemore, "then that day at the ffish farm ask you go move fish why you nv go? you so big size, can 1 what. i replied him, take care of sisters lor. He was like, sharol there to take care mahh. Lame excuse. WTF. i mean, if dion wasnt scared like shit, I would have went, If i go, i dont think sharol would be enough to reassure her nothing is wrong. Walao. And i didnt want to tell him that he helped me say "ta bu ke yi" thats why i never, I mean seriously, he help me reply first, thats why i didnt go. If i say right, he sure say never, never. WHERE GOT?! dont anyhow accuse people. so since my thinking tells me so, or after being his son for 15 yrs, how would i not know his patterns? goodness

so at the party, when i saw jovan, was like foget the -ve feelings for a while laa. then play with him, and brandon(my 1yr old cous) for like from afternoon to evening. After that, my family with xue mei jie jie and jovan went to have dinner at the coffee shop near my house. then after that went back home. my dad wanted to come home for a while to shower and then go out again with his friends to go talk talk, so jovan, xue mei jie jie and us went to my house to play laa. WE took out toys and stuff. Then i remembered that i have movies of jovan that i havent send to xue mei jie jie. Ask her whether she wanted when i on the computer. Then after that, ok liao, i decided to go online for a while, then after that, someone come talk to me, ask me play kong kong with him and my senior. I agreed.

Since my 2 yr old nephew loves dogs, fish and car, and kong kong is a race, he of course interested mahh. SO i let him play. he sit on my lap, then i guided him through. After that, it was time for xue mei jie jie and jovan to go back. DAd sent them home. Then I went shower, ask sharol take over me for a while. then play 1 game, i come out, then go back and play kong kong again. I was like havin a super bad day already, and i told them that someone and my senior that i was having mood swings and a bad day. THat someone still go and say i was copying him, that i was trying to imitate him. WTH. then after that, i told him, please, no more debates and arguments, had enough for a day. Then he replied there: " NO MORE EXCUSES AND STUFF TOO" i mean, people having a bad day already. First my dad, then NOW YOU. WTH. i wasnt lying to you that my nephew was playing or sharol was playing right, i seriously aint. WHERE GOT mood to do so? I am feeling super pissed already, then you still say no more excuses and stuff?! WALAO. ok fine, you wanna play it this way? 1 day when you feeling super mad/pissed, then you say i having a bad day, super pissed. I tell you "NO MORE EXCUSES AND STUFF" you happy not?? HAPPY RIGHT?? fine. I do that to you kay? YOU WANT?? you reply me, YOU WANT NOT??! STill say.

to all of you reading this, juz wanna tell you all something. My patience and ren nai has its limits, And it is really triggered already. I cannot ren, I cannot stand this anymore. sometimes i asked myself, why must we have the feeling of angry inside us? I mean seriously, can't take this anymore. I wanna give up already. ytd night, i juz tossed and turned, couldnt sleep, juz kept on reflecting on why am i soo angry at myself, went to bed at 10pm, slept at 2 am. kay? so to that someone, i hope that my explanation is satisfying for you. OH NO. wait, its not! it really isnt, ALL this are just excuses RIGHT? HORR? k, so this whole post is redundant anyway. UGH!ENOUGH ALREADY. i am not gonna go on and on any further.

-jErM
p.s. To people who are concerned, pls don bother bout this, i juz wanna clear some doubts. HORR SOMEONE? i am deleting this post after 3-4 days.