Friday, November 30, 2007

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.Teacher: What is your problem?Boy: I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too. The teacher took the boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.Principal: What is 3 x 3? Boy: 9Principal: What is 6 x 6? Boy: 36And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. "I think the boy can go to the third-grade" , said the principal. The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask. The principal and the boy agreed. Teacher: What is it that a cow has four and I have only two? Boy: (after a moment) Legs.Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? Boy: Pockets.Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut. Teacher : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was already answering.Boy: BubblegumTeacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands. Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Boy: Yep.Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: TentTeacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large vodka peg..... Boy: Wedding Ring. Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.Boy: NoseTeacher: I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy: ArrowTeacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck. Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' and if u dont get it u have to use your hand? Boy: Fork.Teacher : What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men than for others. The pope doesn't use his. Normally a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy: SURNAME. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to the University. I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"